Marriage Goals

For a while now #goals has been trending all over the internet, but I’ve been wondering if it’s just a hashtag or if people are really serious about achieving what they deem worthy of pursuing? It’s still the beginning of the year, and many of us have made #goals for the new year. I highly suggest that if you’re in a marital relationship that #marriagegoals be a part of your yearly review and revision.

For the past 3 years of our four years of marriage Kenny and I have followed and partnered with a marriage ministry called Marriage Today. They have a workbook that I highly suggest called Marriage on the Mountain TopEvery December around our anniversary (the 26th) we get alone for a few hours and work on our marriage vision.The first year we went through this process it actually took a day in a half to complete. The subsequent years it was only a matter tweaking and took just a few hours. I can tell you that it’s exciting looking at our marriage vision at the end of the year and seeing the check marks of what we accomplished! All glory to God! Every year we are accomplishing more and more. Here are just a few of our checks: we paid off debt, transitioned into better and more fulfilling jobs, bought the lot next door to our house; enclosed it with a custom made fence, purchased two new cars, disciplined our health and spiritual life, found new areas of creativity, and the list goes on. All of these goals accomplished were written a year in advanced on our marriage vision.

You might be asking why a marriage vision is important? Well, we didn’t know why it was important either until we did a little investigating. Check out this video about why a marriage vision is important. Two really cool things that we learned in our discovery was that we were together for a bigger reason than we initially thought. God has plans to not only use us individually but as a couple, and that’s exciting because we can work towards a common goal. Secondly, we didn’t know it at the time, but we were dreaming together. The last several months the phrase “I want to dream with you” has been a major part of our everyday language. When Kenny and I sit down and talk about our future as a married couple, we are actually dreaming together. We write our vision. We make it plain. We pray over it constantly, and we watch God do what he does! It’s so awesome! It’s been a great experience dreaming and discovering God’s plan for us as a married couple and also celebrating our successes through accomplishing our goals.

Why do we partner with a marriage ministry? There’s a spiritual and natural law called the law is sowing and reaping. Just as the farmer sows because they know they will reap a harvest, we sow into Marriage Today as an investment into our marriage. We’ve seen great fruit and are expecting even greater to come.

So what are you expecting to reap this year? What seeds do you have in the ground? Don’t let your goals this time around just be a hashtag.

~Xo

Christia

Mrs. DeShields…Overcoming Married Life Obstacles

Marriage is a beautiful thing! It’s also probably one of  the toughest things anyone will ever do in their life. Marriage is about being completely vulnerable, emotionally naked and it’s also a mirror that shows you who you really are. Kenny and I are coming up on 3 yrs of marriage and we’ve both grown personally as well as collectively. It’s really quite amazing actually. I love him more today than I ever have. A lot of times people see our pictures and post and think that we’ve had the “perfect” relationship but let me  tel, you that is completely false. We’ve seen some really  dark days, but our commitment to each other, our faith and love brought us through. We also sow into our marriage. Whatever you sow you reap and that what we believe. Here are five ways to reap an amazing harvest in your married life:

1. Date night: Alone time is so important especially when you have children.  When Kenny and I first had Shiloh, we had a date on our deck while he was asleep. We are deliberate about making time for each other no matter how busy we get.

2. Hang out with other happily married couples and ask questions.

It’s great to hang out with newly weds as well as couples who’ve been married a while. It’s great to be inspired by young love and learn wisdom from mature love.  Don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask them how they made it.  There’s no dumb question. Real Talk.

3. Seek wise counseling: I highly recommend pre-marital counseling not the “froo froo” stuff but the real deal. Kenny and I read the book Preparing for Marriage and it really forced us to talk about issues that we probably wouldn’t have until they came up in our marriage. We also sought counseling in our marriage.  We’re both messed up people with messed up pasts and counseling was a safe place to process those issues together.

4. Education: Power of a Praying Wife/Husband, Love Dare, The Five Love Languages, and Fire Proof are some amazing marriage books that will help you grow in intimacy with your spouse. I highly recommend all of them.

5. Follow a Marriage Ministry: Following a marriage ministry is so great and really helped us our first two years of marriage.  We learned through Karen and Jimmy Evans. We learned how to create a marriage vision and align our life according to what we sow for our marriage.  Another awesome ministry to follow especially on Instagram is Marriage 365. Casey and Meygan are a really awesome couple that are champions of marriage.  They give great date night tips, encouragement and even help in the bedroom;). One last resource I want to give you is a new online magazine, 2Half2Whole is a marriage magazine that’s goal is to inspire married couples. There are tons of great inspirational marriage stories in the magazine as well as tips.

Marriage life is so wonderful, but you don’t have to do it alone.  There are so many resources available and with Jesus at the center you’re bullet proof.  Loves love ya! Feel free to share your thoughts on this post!

Top: Target Skirt: Blush Boutique