From Time-Out to Time-In

Hi guys,

It’s been a while, huh? It feels like every time I get comfortable with a new rhythm, it changes. The latest change comes in the form of newborn life and returning to a demanding job. We are in the thick of it right now, but I’m trying to enjoy even the toughest moments. Being a mommy of  two high energy toddlers and a newborn can exhaust your patience by the end of the day, but I’m so thankful for resources like Generation Mindful that help parents and children grow and learn together.

I’m an educator, and the Growth Mindset Theory has been transforming the educational  world over the last few years. It is the idea that we are continuously learning and growing, even though I may not be good at something. But if I keep learning and practicing, I will get better. 

Growth Mindset does not only apply to students. Anyone can benefit from developing a growth mindset, especially us parents. Parenting is hard, and there’s no one size fits all. We tend to parent the way our parents parented us. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Parenthood is one area that my husband and I are putting the Growth Mindset into practice. 

I’m really excited to team up with Generation Mindful. Having a sassy two-year old and a four year old with sensory challenges, it’s been difficult to find a balance between punishment and learning moments. We’ve decided to dedicate those learning moments into developing emotional intelligence in our children.

When we first found out our four-year old, Shiloh, had proprioception sensory challenges,  it was overwhelming, and we felt like we had failed. As we learned more about it, a lot of his behaviors started to make sense. He’s a sensory seeker and if he’s not getting enough input, he seeks it no matter if it’s in a positive or negative way. Shiloh has been going to occupational therapy for almost a year now, and we are seeing a lot of improvement with him. He can better articulate his feelings, and now I love having resources at home to help build his emotional intelligence. 

Our kids were so excited to set up the Time-in Toolkit. They were both decoding their feelings on the chart, and we even had our first calming corner experience.

Shiloh got upset because he wanted to continue putting tape on the posters, but we were all done. He got to explain why he was feeling “frustrated,” and we talked through some calming down strategies. He decided that he wanted to take a few minutes to read a book in his tent as a way to calm down. I caught a snippet on video.

My boys are benefiting greatly from our Generation Mindful resources, and here are 5 reasons why I’m loving them as a parent:

1. Visuals: Kids begin to put language to their feelings, and going through the visual tools helps them process their emotions.

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2. The non-judgmental online community and classes help parents with challenges they may be experiencing and give great ideas to take a positive approach to parenting where there are more learning moments than punitive.

3. The snuggle buddies are AWESOME. My kids absolutely love them. They talk about their feelings with them, and put on puppet shows with help from daddy :).IMG_3378.JPGIMG_3374.JPG

4. The kit grows with your child. Some of the items in the kit are too old for my kids right now, but I’ll definitely be adding them in the future.

5. My husband and I are growing as parents. We always say we don’t know what we’re doing. We’ve never been parents before lol.

 

So talk to me guys. Do you have a growth mindset when it comes to parenting? What aspects of parenting littles are challenging for you? What’s your parenting strategy?

 

 

3rd Trimester Style Challenge; Staying Fine with Only 9.

Hey guys,

It’s literally been forever since I posted a blog. A year ago this past September to be exact. I think a combination of lack of creativity and time are the culprits, but I never stopped thinking about this blog. I’m almost finished reading a book called the The Artisan Soul, by Erwin McManus and it’s sufficiently set my creative soul on fire! So much so that I had to return to one of my loves, this blog, and talk about one of my favorite topics, fashion.

If you follow my instagram posts, you should be aware that I’m pregnant with baby boy number three (pray for your girl 😂)!

Honestly I love having boys. Heck, I don’t know any different. So as a veteran, I’m not freaking out… well that much!

One of the things I’ve done differently this time around, since it’s my last pregnancy, was enlist the help of a personal trainer. I really wanted to continue to grow in my fitness journey and didn’t want to slow down momentum just because I was pregnant. If Serena Williams can win a grand slam six months pregnant, I can definitely have the fittest pregnancy of my life.

Thank you Jesus that I’m connected with an amazing trainer who has helped me so much. I’m eating clean and training with her twice a week, and I’ve never felt better. At 30 weeks, I have lost a total of 19 inches all over my body while growing baby. I have not experienced pregnancy edema (yet), most of my clothes still fit, and I feel really good! It’s been a great decision.

Although I feel really good, I’m at the stage where I barely want to put on clothes 😂. However, as a working mom I don’t have that luxury. I’ve got a little less than 10 weeks left, so I’ve challenged myself to “stay fine down to the line.” 😂😂😂😂 That’s something my husband would say or this one, “stay fine even with 9… weeks to go”.  I’m also taking the minimalist approach to the challenge. Unless you have an endless supply of maternity clothes, most mommas-to-be are limited to the number of items they fit comfortably in the last trimester. So I’ve styled 25 outfits with 9 items of clothing + 1 scarf.

 

Plaid shirt: Target

leather leggings: Target

Rust sweater:  Shop Dress Up

Scarf: Vinnie Louise

Pink Blazer: NY&CO

Houndstooth Blazer: Forever 21

Black Dreas: Motherhood Maternity

Leather Jacket: Marshalls

Africa Sweater: Grass Fields

boots: Bronx  Diba

flats: Target

black booties: Target

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Mom guilt + Birthday Parties

 

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I’m a creative, but when it comes to planning parties the mere thought of it makes me want to upchuck a little in my mouth🤢. Just ask My hubs, Kenny, #thepartyanimal. Every year his birthday starts to creep around, I have daunting thoughts of him telling me that he wants a party. So far I’ve only had to plan two, but still, I break out in hives just thinking about who to invite, will they come, did I forget anyone, what kind of food, will I inconvenience anyone, where to have it and the list goes on. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love parties but planning them… a whole other story.

Now that children have entered the equation, I feel like they are delivered with another overwhelming feeling–Mom guilt. Moms, don’t we feel guilty for everything? Working moms, stay at home moms, part-time working moms, volunteers moms. There’s always a reason to feel guilty when you’re a mom–which leads me to birthday parties.

A few years ago, when it was Shiloh’s first birthday, I felt completely helpless, so, I enlisted a wonderful friend to help me plan his party. Thank God we survived. This time around it’s Tiago’s first birthday, and with two weeks to until his birthday, I hadn’t planned a thing. I started to feel guilty.

I lamented to my friends and coworkers for a few days, and they gave me the some of the best encouragement, but I still felt the guilt. I wanted to have an obligatory 1st birthday party for Tiago, but we’re in a season of life where our schedules are very full, and it would be nearly impossible.

Would Tiago think I loved him less?😩😩😩Here was a question that played out in my head. You know how the devil tries to play with your mind? After some encouraging words from some of my friends and pinteresting, I pulled myself up and said, “not today satan!” There’s more than one way to celebrate a birthday!

So we decided to have a fun photo shoot for Tiago, got him a few cool toys, and can I tell you he had the time of his life! He thought he was in cake heaven. He loved smiling for the camera and getting dirty. It was perfect for him!

When I was pregnant with Tiago, I was wondering about loving them the same and making sure that everything was equal, but I’m realizing now that equity is more important than equality. Loving them the way they need to be loved individually is the new goal. Besides, they don’t even remember their first birthday anyway. A lot of times us mom’s beat ourselves up for nothing.

When I think back to Shiloh’s party, I remember him hating and screaming at his cake, over stimulated, and needing a nap. The only saving grace was that it was a pool party and he’s a total fish 🐟! He will be 3 soon, and he’s a party animal just like his father. Will I plan a party? Let’s play it by ear. We will cross that bridge in July 😜.

Do you ever experience mommy guilt with birthday parties or anything else? Let me know!

 



 

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