I’m a creative, but when it comes to planning parties the mere thought of it makes me want to upchuck a little in my mouth🤢. Just ask My hubs, Kenny, #thepartyanimal. Every year his birthday starts to creep around, I have daunting thoughts of him telling me that he wants a party. So far I’ve only had to plan two, but still, I break out in hives just thinking about who to invite, will they come, did I forget anyone, what kind of food, will I inconvenience anyone, where to have it and the list goes on. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love parties but planning them… a whole other story.
Now that children have entered the equation, I feel like they are delivered with another overwhelming feeling–Mom guilt. Moms, don’t we feel guilty for everything? Working moms, stay at home moms, part-time working moms, volunteers moms. There’s always a reason to feel guilty when you’re a mom–which leads me to birthday parties.
A few years ago, when it was Shiloh’s first birthday, I felt completely helpless, so, I enlisted a wonderful friend to help me plan his party. Thank God we survived. This time around it’s Tiago’s first birthday, and with two weeks to until his birthday, I hadn’t planned a thing. I started to feel guilty.
I lamented to my friends and coworkers for a few days, and they gave me the some of the best encouragement, but I still felt the guilt. I wanted to have an obligatory 1st birthday party for Tiago, but we’re in a season of life where our schedules are very full, and it would be nearly impossible.
Would Tiago think I loved him less?😩😩😩Here was a question that played out in my head. You know how the devil tries to play with your mind? After some encouraging words from some of my friends and pinteresting, I pulled myself up and said, “not today satan!” There’s more than one way to celebrate a birthday!
So we decided to have a fun photo shoot for Tiago, got him a few cool toys, and can I tell you he had the time of his life! He thought he was in cake heaven. He loved smiling for the camera and getting dirty. It was perfect for him!
When I was pregnant with Tiago, I was wondering about loving them the same and making sure that everything was equal, but I’m realizing now that equity is more important than equality. Loving them the way they need to be loved individually is the new goal. Besides, they don’t even remember their first birthday anyway. A lot of times us mom’s beat ourselves up for nothing.
When I think back to Shiloh’s party, I remember him hating and screaming at his cake, over stimulated, and needing a nap. The only saving grace was that it was a pool party and he’s a total fish 🐟! He will be 3 soon, and he’s a party animal just like his father. Will I plan a party? Let’s play it by ear. We will cross that bridge in July 😜.
Do you ever experience mommy guilt with birthday parties or anything else? Let me know!
Christia DeShields 